One of the biggest issues, really the “only”, I face with being a butterfly (a girl with TS, Turner’s Syndrome) is infertility.  Essentially, I’ve known since junior high/ high school that I wasn’t going to be able to have kids.  I don’t think it really sank in a whole lot in until much later exactly what that meant and that it meant it for me.

I grew up with the idea that I’d go to college, graduate at 22, be married at 24, and have kids by 30.  You know, like my parents and every other girl probably thought, too.

But that was before I was diagnosed.  And before I thought much about dating.  And before I thought much about marriage.

It was hard for me to say anything to anybody about having TS, much less discuss the fact that it meant I couldn’t have children of my own.  I don’t look any different than anybody else.  I mean, I’m short, but there are plenty of short people in the world anyways.  So I never tried to explain why I was short.  To be honest, it would have been difficult to explain and I was never very sure I knew myself all the whys.

I never really dated in high school or college, for a number of reasons.  But when I did start dating once I was older, I did make sure that I was honest with the guys I was talking to or in a relationship when it came to talking about children.  It was awkward and kind of hard, but I knew that if they couldn’t accept that about me, they were NOT the one for me anyways.

I started dating Anthony in October 2006 and we got married in January 2010.  He has been so good to me and so very understanding.  He was a fantastic nurse to me after my recent hysterectomy!

Why did I have a hysterectomy?  The short answer is that my HRT (hormone replacement therapy) had essentially caused my endometrial lining to thicken.  While nothing was current wrong from what she could tell, this made it easier for bad things to happen (cancer, cysts, polyps).  She gave me two options.  One was to have a DNC where they would essentially clean everything out and biopsy it just to check it out.  This did leave the possibility that it could thicken again later on since I would still be on an HRT.  So my other option was to have a hysterectomy.  Mine would be a complete one since my ovaries had never developed anyways.  This option just made sense, rather than wasting time and money just to end up with this one anyways.  Also, this was something I had always had in the back of my mind somewhere as an option that I would have to take at some point.

Not being able to have children with Anthony has hit me hard a time or two, but not since my surgery.  I suspect it will hit me again at some point.  And while that does hurt, I do know that adoption is an option in the future.  (Maybe even a better one?)  But I do focus on the blessings right now of not having children, of being able to “pick up and go” or “go and do”, of not having to either take them with us or arrange for their care in the meantime.  Life IS good just the two of us!

Oh!  Why Sally Talley?  I’m spoiling the plot a bit, but she’s a character I can relate to from the play Talley’s Folly.  Sally struggles with her own fertility and reluctance to admit that it’s what “plagues” her at times.  She does break down and admit it to Matt, her love interest and beau in this two-person show.  She’s just another reason I fell in love with theatre.

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