If you’re born single, why wouldn’t you just want to stay that way?  It seems like most every single person alive at some point develops some deep desire to have a significant other.  Now, how that happens and when varies as much as each human being does.  Part of it ends up with each of us developing our own ideas as to how and when it should happen both for us and for others.

When I was a little girl, I was just like every other little girl.  I dreamed up just how I thought my life should go.  I wanted to be a teacher, which meant going to college.  Now after college is when I wanted to get married.  So that means being married by about 25.  Then would come children.  So that probably gets me to about 30 before I’m married with children.

Let’s not talk about how many wrenches were thrown into those plans… well, okay, let’s.

It all started with being diagnosed at 12 with Turner’s Syndrome.  It’s a chromosome abnormality that means not only am I short, but I can’t have children of my own.  So that disrupts that plan, whenever it comes about.

Now I’m sure guys thought I was short and cute and sweet, but I never dated a soul through junior high and high school.  Oh, don’t get my wrong, I had some crushes (and no, I’m not naming them here!).  I just never had anything remotely resembling a relationship like that.  I had plenty of friends at church and school.  My family loved me, my friends loved me well enough, so I was fine and had a good life.  I wasn’t missing anything as far as I was concerned.  College was just more of the same with even better and closer friends and more crushes.

The day my sister got married that all changed.  I’d been so busy living my life, I’d not put much thought into it until then.  I remember sitting in my bridesmaid’s dress in the house of the theatre after her wedding.  That’s when it hit me – and hard!  I was alone with no prospect of finding someone to date, let alone marry.  There was no one at work and not likely to be.  There was no one at church and who knew if there would be.  My hobby was theatre and there wasn’t anyone there with no real prospect there.  And I most certainly wasn’t going to a bar or parties to meet someone to marry.  I knew that was no where near the kind of man I wanted to be in a relationship with and eventually marry.  So now what?

Then I finally gave in.  I set up an eHarmony account.  It took me hours to do the questionnaire, but I really learned a lot about myself and the kind of guy I should be looking for.  I met a few guys, but most just kind of dropped off.  Good riddance, they weren’t wasting my time!  I had a couple of real heartaches from a couple of the guys I actually met and went out with, but I survived like every other girl does, despite the tears.

I was matched with Anthony the first part of December 2005, just a couple of months after I’d joined.  By Jan. 11, 2006, we were emailing and becoming good friends.  He was such a sweet, good friend and listened to me vent about a couple of heartaches.  We finally met in person on Oct. 22, 2006, at the Starbucks on the Eastern By-pass in Montgomery.  We were officially a couple on Dec. 27, 2006.  The day before my 33rd birthday was one of the best days of my life.  Anthony proposed!  It was a day I’d really been waiting for over 20 years.  I was ecstatic and planned a wedding over the next few months. We were married on Jan. 2, 2010, thus ending my life as a single woman.

There are times that I miss being single and not being attached to someone, but not enough to go back.  I loved my life, but I love it just as much as I do my husband now.  There are things I learned along the way that I pass along, so stay tuned for that!

Advertisements